The Life and Times of Berta Paradise

So today is the day! Clark is driving me to Roanoke, where I will first sign away all my rights and then I will take a sweet Valium before the cut my eyes open. For those of you that have never looked into lasik, I will briefly describe what they are going to do me (as I understand it).

1. Give me Valium (I am pretty siked about this part). This is supposed to relax me before the procedure

2. hold my eyelids open with some crazy device.

3. apply a suction cup to my eye which will create ‘a ring of bubbles’ and then use a laser to cut a flap:

ewwwww……..

4. fix my eye with crazy lasers.

5. make me wear silly goggles while I sleep so I don’t tear off my ‘corneal flap’.

Lasers rock. I will take some pix of me in my goggles once I get them. For purposes of preservation, here is a picture of me with my eyes dilated (from the consult):

So normally I only post when I have something interesting to show the world, but today(Monday) I am just having a bad day. I started out the day by making a pot of coffee without the pot. That’s right. Think 12 cups of coffee+grounds all over the kitchen. Dripping on the stove, through the burners, into the cabinets. YES it was that bad. Then my travel mug started to leak during class. Then.. well that was it, but I was in a bad mood.

In the past years, I have learned alot about myself. 1. on bad days, I am a complete b&*#h. 2. I enjoy solitude and silence, especially on bad days. Enter co-workers that don’t know to leave me alone. It’s especially difficult now that I am back in school and many ‘co-workers’ don’t know the difference between work friendships and normal friendship. I give them some slack because they are young and don’t get that there is a difference.

Also on my sh** list today is JK Rowling. I really liked the HP books. Great story by not-so-great of a writer. I mean really, it’s called character development. If you wanted Dumbledore to be gay, then frackin write it in the book. Don’t bring it up in an interview after the story is done. Then it just makes it a cheap attempt at getting a political point off. Apologies for the cursing, it was a really bad day today.
/end rant. and because I always post a picture:

So… since I last wrote I have been ridiculously busy. I do apologize. To make up for it, I give you:

(I have decided to just go with thumbnails for this post to keep it small. Check out my Flickr site for all the beautiful photos I took in Vegas)

I just got back from San Diego, where I was at the world’s largest conference of water and wastewater professionals. That’s right, I attended a conference on other people’s crap. I did get a day off from the conference and all the recruiting to do a little site seeing. I will post a few links below. These aren’t on my flickr just yet.

Yes, I was trying to be artsy. Also, I love playing with image editors:

Also, note that I changed the background on my header. I have been wearing glasses for over a month now. No contacts allowed. I am scheduled for Lasik on the 31st of this month. Did you know that they give you valium before the surgery. I am pretty excited about that too.