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<channel>
	<title>The Life and Times of Berta Paradise</title>
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		<title>The Life and Times of Berta Paradise</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com</link>
	</image>
			<item>
		<title>Gussied Up&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/gussied-up/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/gussied-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 May 2008 17:22:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=73</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We attended a friend&#8217;s wedding in Atlanta last weekend.  A couple of pictures that I really like:


       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=73&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>We attended a friend&#8217;s wedding in Atlanta last weekend.  A couple of pictures that I really like:<br />
<a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/jemily1.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-74" src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/jemily1.jpg?w=225&#038;h=300" alt="awwww" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/jemily2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-75" src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/jemily2.jpg?w=300&#038;h=225" alt="A little tired at the after party" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<media:content url="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/jemily1.jpg?w=225" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">awwww</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">A little tired at the after party</media:title>
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		<title>Quickie</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/quickie/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/quickie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 17:37:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=72</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Though this was pretty funny, a friend found it and now I need to pass it along.
       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=72&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Though <a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/zip/671432270.html"><em>this</em></a> was pretty funny, a friend found it and now I need to pass it along.</p>
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		<title>OUCH</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/ouch/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/ouch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2008 18:34:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=71</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So &#8211; paying taxes today.  OUCH.
I have never been one to complain about paying taxes.  I want the government to provide me with certain protections and I understand that costs money.  HOWEVER, I got nailed this year because of inheritance.
OUCH &#8211; just ouch.  Makes me want to go back to bed.  On the upside &#8211; [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=71&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So &#8211; paying taxes today.  OUCH.</p>
<p>I have never been one to complain about paying taxes.  I want the government to provide me with certain protections and I understand that costs money.  HOWEVER, I got nailed this year because of inheritance.</p>
<p>OUCH &#8211; just ouch.  Makes me want to go back to bed.  On the upside &#8211; I get the full rebate back from the gov&#8217;t and to really stick it to them &#8211; it&#8217;s going right into savings!  HA &#8211; take that.</p>
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		<title>Frustrating day</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/frustrating-day/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/frustrating-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:38:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=70</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, as most of you know, I attend Virginia Tech.  So today, the NY Yankees are in town to have a little batting practice with our baseball team.  This is part of the memorial stuff for April 16th.  As April 16th approaches, I am getting more and more frustrated with the forced [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=70&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So, as most of you know, I attend Virginia Tech.  So today, the NY Yankees are in town to have a little batting practice with our baseball team.  This is part of the memorial stuff for April 16th.  As April 16th approaches, I am getting more and more frustrated with the forced reminders.   Yes, I remember what happened.  Yes, I remember it every time I walk into my lab.  I remember it every time I go to class.  I remember it when I am sitting at my desk next to my labmate that was shot.</p>
<p>I remember. I am kind of tired of remembering tbh.</p>
<p>So as I was saying, the yankees are in town and it has apparently brought some of the freaks back out.  As I walked into Norris today there were people milling around the doors taking pictures of the building, the doors, the students walking in and out.  When I opened the outside door I felt like a tourist attraction or a freakshow.   So I decided to come back to my desk (in a different building) to try and hide and surf the internet for something that does not have to do with guns or April 16th.  But apparently today is the day of reminders.  I run into the traffic jam outside because the Yankees decided to park their bus in the middle of the road so they could see the memorial.  When I finally make it to my desk &#8211; I have an email about the memorial activities and an email that they will be installing a ceiling in the lab below me tomorrow and they wanted to warn me it will sound like gun fire.  Now great email &#8211; I was really glad to be warned, but why today?</p>
<p>I think on the actual April 16th I will just go into hibernation.</p>
<p>/end rant &#8211; I feel better now.</p>
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		<title>Corey Feldman found work!!!</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/corey-feldman-found-work/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/corey-feldman-found-work/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:36:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=68</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[check it out
Not so sure this will be good, but I loved the first one.  Cry little sister!!!
       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=68&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><a href="http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1583178&amp;vid=215372">check it out</a><br />
Not so sure this will be good, but I loved the first one.  Cry little sister!!!</p>
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		<title>My Spring Break</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/my-spring-break/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/my-spring-break/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:46:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=67</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, this last week was technically my spring break.  I spent all week in B&#8217;Burg writing my paper and working on a class project.  Kind of sad I know, but I have two weddings to go to this summer &#8211; so I am set on my travel for the year.
Anyways, my exciting week [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=67&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So, this last week was technically my spring break.  I spent all week in B&#8217;Burg writing my paper and working on a class project.  Kind of sad I know, but I have two weddings to go to this summer &#8211; so I am set on my travel for the year.</p>
<p>Anyways, my exciting week started off with a trip to my new tax advisor/CPA.  Due to inheritance, I have mega-taxes to pay for 2007/2008, so I thought it was smart to get a cpa to make sure I am covering all my bases.  Anyways, boring stuff &#8211; except that my CPA&#8217;s name is McMillion.  Honestly, I only had 3 to choose from in the area, but his name seemed to pop out at me.</p>
<p>I ordered myself a little spring break treat.  I know out of my 4-5 readers, at least two will get a kick out of this&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01799.jpg" title="dsc01799.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01799.jpg?w=451&#038;h=342" alt="dsc01799.jpg" height="342" width="451" /></a></p>
<p>So I thought I was just ordering the HD-DVD box set of the 5 HP movies.  Little did I know what I was in for.  See, for Christmas I bought Clark an HD-DVD player, thinking that blueray would never win.  Now that HD-DVDs are the new BetaMax, there is a fire sale going on for most HD-DVDs.  SO I got this bad boy for 52% off.  Not only does it have the DVDs&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01794.jpg" title="dsc01794.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01794.jpg?w=450&#038;h=347" alt="dsc01794.jpg" height="347" width="450" /></a></p>
<p>But I got a game (meh) and bookmarks!  Now the bookmarks are pretty cute:</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01798.jpg" title="dsc01798.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dsc01798.jpg?w=437&#038;h=330" alt="dsc01798.jpg" height="330" width="437" /></a></p>
<p>I had some fun opening the package.  It was a lot more than I expected. The only thing the box lacks (imo) is a handle.  The sticker handle just doesn&#8217;t work for me.</p>
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		<title>It&#8217;s been a long time</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/its-been-a-long-time/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/its-been-a-long-time/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:41:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/?p=55</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I don&#8217;t know why, but I just haven&#8217;t felt like blogging really. So here is a month by month review of what you have missed:
December:  I went to Nebraska for Christmas again.  I really enjoy spending the holidays with Clark&#8217;s family.  We drove to Minneapolis for New Years and got to [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=55&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So I don&#8217;t know why, but I just haven&#8217;t felt like blogging really. So here is a month by month review of what you have missed:</p>
<p>December:  I went to Nebraska for Christmas again.  I really enjoy spending the holidays with Clark&#8217;s family.  We drove to Minneapolis for New Years and got to visit with Clark&#8217;s high school friend Dustin.  [Buy his book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Book-Spam-Glorious-Definitive-Compendium/dp/0743291921/?tag=thebooofspaof-20">here</a> and check out his advertising <a href="http://toastvertising.com/site/home.html">here.</a>]   Although we were cold &#8211; we had a great time visiting and seeing the sites.  Mall of America, the Zoo, &#8230;. yes.. we went to the zoo in January in Minneapolis.  The nice part about the zoo in winter is the lack of children.  The bad part, the cold and snow.  Anyways, this being right after that tiger attack, we were somewhat fascinated by our ability to get within touching distance of some fierce cats.  <a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01734.jpg" title="clark vs lion"></a></p>
<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01734.jpg" title="clark vs lion"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01734.jpg?w=523&#038;h=394" alt="clark vs lion" height="394" width="523" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01734.jpg" title="clark vs lion"> </a></div>
<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01738.jpg" title="rawr"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01738.jpg?w=503&#038;h=379" alt="rawr" height="379" width="503" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align:center;"></div>
<p>It seems we will be headed back to Minneapolis in August.  Dustin&#8217;s getting hitched and we get to party in the big city for a weekend.</p>
<p>January:  I turned 29.  OMG I&#8217;m old.  That&#8217;s what my sister told me.  Then I reminded her that no matter how old I get &#8211; she will always be 11 years older than me. OMG I&#8217;m mean.  As a present, she gave me a check to get my hair dyed.  See, I am not big on getting my hair colored, highlighted, etc.  But I have a little problem.  It is called grey hair and there was too much to just ignore.  My aunt went grey at a young age too, so I said f-it &#8211; it&#8217;s gotta go.  SO HERE is my before and after:<a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01739.jpg" title="blah"></a></p>
<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01739.jpg" title="blah"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01739.jpg?w=287&#038;h=216" alt="blah" height="216" width="287" /></a></div>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01785.jpg" title="beautiful"></a></p>
<div style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01785.jpg" title="beautiful"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01785.jpg?w=284&#038;h=215" alt="beautiful" height="215" width="284" /></a></div>
<p>The pix are a little blurry cause my camera needs replaced.  I can&#8217;t seem to take a clear picture.</p>
<p>Also, I have discovered that I have the most interesting view out of the window.  I sit at my desk and can see right into the neighbor&#8217;s backyard.  There is a feral cat colony that lives in an old barn.  The cats are fed by an older lady that lives in the building.  Another woman caught the kittens and had their shots done and spayed/neutered.  So I watch these cats chase the squirrels all day.  So last week, as i am watching the cats as I surf the net, I see movement out of the corner of my eye.  Something bigger than a cat&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01777.jpg" title="omg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01777.jpg?w=595&#038;h=448" alt="omg" height="448" width="595" /></a></p>
<p>can you see it?</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01783.jpg" title="COW"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01783.jpg?w=573&#038;h=430" alt="COW" height="430" width="573" /></a></p>
<p>I wonder how the cats feel about their territory being taken over by a cow!!!</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">clark vs lion</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">rawr</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">blah</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">beautiful</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">omg</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/dsc01783.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">COW</media:title>
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		<title>Analyze my dreams&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/11/10/analyze-my-dreams/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/11/10/analyze-my-dreams/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Nov 2007 16:38:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/11/10/analyze-my-dreams/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I don&#8217;t remember my dreams very often.  When I do, they often seem to have some underlying meaning.  I typically have no idea what this is, but I feel that they should.  Like, back in my college days, I used to dream that I was trying to take a shower.  [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=54&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So I don&#8217;t remember my dreams very often.  When I do, they often seem to have some underlying meaning.  I typically have no idea what this is, but I feel that they should.  Like, back in my college days, I used to dream that I was trying to take a shower.  The problem was the showerhead was just dribbling and I had an audience of people telling me to hurry up.  Must have some meaning, amirite?</p>
<p>So in the past month I have had a the following dream twice (or similar to each other anyways).  I forget a lot of the details, but the dream essentially goes:</p>
<p>I arrive at a hotel and somehow I know that I recently stayed there.  I check in and go to my room and the closets are full of my things that I apparently left last time I was there.  I then spend the rest of the dream trying to pack my stuff.  I can&#8217;t seem to do it though.  I keep getting distracted or maybe the hotel won&#8217;t let me, I am not sure.  Either way, I can&#8217;t seem to figure out how to get my stuff back home.  End of Dream.</p>
<p>Clark just thinks I have been playing WoW to late.  Which is probably true, but I still think there must be some subconscious point that I am trying to tell myself.  Opinions welcome!</p>
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		<title>I was a vampire for Halloween&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/11/01/i-was-a-vampire-for-halloween/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/11/01/i-was-a-vampire-for-halloween/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:45:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Ok, not really.  But I felt like one.
So here is my Lasik tale.  I hear from many of my devoted readers (You know &#8211; all 5 of you!) that they are scared of lasik.  I am too (now).  I have always been pretty calm with doctors and blood, etc.  When [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=50&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Ok, not really.  But I felt like one.</p>
<p>So here is my Lasik tale.  I hear from many of my devoted readers (You know &#8211; all 5 of you!) that they are scared of lasik.  I am too (now).  I have always been pretty calm with doctors and blood, etc.  When I could see them.  Not knowing what was going on really freaked me out.</p>
<p>To take you back to yesterday&#8217;s blog entry, the first step in &#8216;cutting the corneal flap&#8217; is to place a suction ring on my eye.  I lost all vision at this point in the surgery.  This caused a minor panic attack that even the 10mg of Valium didn&#8217;t help with.  So no vision for about 1 minute while they made my &#8216;flap&#8217;.   I was allowed to close my eyes and when I opened them, I could see the laser and nothing else.  I then had to stare at the laser for 22 seconds per eye.  The laser makes a clicking noise and then it is over.  Finito, no big deal.</p>
<p>Oh wait&#8230;  there was this creepy part.  The part where my eyes are still propped open and they put this milky drop in.  Have you ever taken a thing of half &amp;half and poured it into a water glass? The cream swirls and expands in the glass&#8230;. Imagine this happening on your eye.  The most bizarre experience.</p>
<p>So, it&#8217;s all over and I can see (kind of).  I was a little off after the surgery  (with the Valium and whatnot).  I kept spilling my tea (or so Clark says!).  It was about a 45 minute drive home and I sat in the passenger seat with my eyes closed, sunglasses on, and two winter jackets over my head and I still felt like I was staring into the sun.  (Hence the vampire reference) I got home and took a few pics for you folks.  Unfortunately, the Valium affected my steadiness more than I realized and all the pictures looked a bit like this&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01714.jpg" title="dsc01714.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01714.jpg?w=216&#038;h=287" alt="dsc01714.jpg" height="287" width="216" /></a></p>
<p>ack!! Blurry.  So I took some today to show off my pretty eyes:)</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01721.jpg" title="dsc01721.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01721.jpg?w=303&#038;h=228" alt="dsc01721.jpg" height="228" width="303" /></a></p>
<p>and my hot new sleeping goggles:</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01723.jpg" title="dsc01723.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/dsc01723.jpg?w=300&#038;h=227" alt="dsc01723.jpg" height="227" width="300" /></a></p>
<p>so that is my lasik tale.  It was not painful, just &#8230; unsettling.  I am really glad I got it done (so far).  I am also really glad it worked and I don&#8217;t have to do it again&#8230;</p>
<p>Also, John: my sister was pretty much legally blind and she got Lasered about a month ago.  There is crazy new technology and they can fix alot more these days.</p>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Today I See!!</title>
		<link>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/10/31/today-i-see/</link>
		<comments>http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/10/31/today-i-see/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:40:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bertaparadise</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Currently Reading]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bertaparadise.wordpress.com/2007/10/31/today-i-see/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So today is the day!  Clark is driving me to Roanoke, where I will first sign away all my rights and then I will take a sweet Valium before the cut my eyes open.  For those of you that have never looked into lasik, I will briefly describe what they are going to [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bertaparadise.wordpress.com&blog=1381788&post=42&subd=bertaparadise&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>So today is the day!  Clark is driving me to Roanoke, where I will first sign away all my rights and then I will take a sweet Valium before the cut my eyes open.  For those of you that have never looked into lasik, I will briefly describe what they are going to do me (as I understand it).</p>
<p>1.  Give me Valium (I am pretty siked about this part).  This is supposed to relax me before the procedure</p>
<p>2.  hold my eyelids open with some crazy device.</p>
<p>3. apply a suction cup to my eye which will create  &#8216;a ring of bubbles&#8217; and then use a laser to cut a flap:</p>
<p><img src="http://www.allaboutvision.com/art103/lasik-4-250x189.jpg" height="189" width="250" /></p>
<p>ewwwww&#8230;&#8230;..</p>
<p>4. fix my eye with crazy lasers.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.allaboutvision.com/art103/lasik-5-250x189.jpg" height="189" width="250" /></p>
<p>5. make me wear silly goggles while I sleep so I don&#8217;t tear off my &#8216;corneal flap&#8217;.</p>
<p>Lasers rock.   I will take some pix of me in my goggles once I get them.  For purposes of preservation, here is a picture of me with my eyes dilated (from the consult):</p>
<p><a href="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/dilation.jpg" title="dilation.jpg"><img src="http://bertaparadise.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/dilation.jpg?w=442&#038;h=181" alt="dilation.jpg" height="181" width="442" /></a></p>
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